What it means to live with a forgiving heart

Today I am finishing Tara’s ten day course in freeing myself from blame and resentment, which you find on insight timer

Tara asks at the end of this session:

What most helps you see the goodness in others?

Holding the intention to see it

Envisioning them when happy

Imagining them as children

Sensing their pure consciousness

Holding the intention to see it is my answer at the moment.

‘This final session explores what it means to live with a forgiving heart. When our hearts are awake and inclusive, the light and love of the universe shines through us. We are manifesting our full potential. A beautiful expression of this awakened consciousness is the capacity to see the sacred as it lives through all beings…In the goodness of others…and realising the space of loving awareness that is our shared source.’ —Tara Brach

If only we were to see our humanity and heart’s intentions and live them. I try but I find it hard to maintain this discipline of forgiving, especially when I wake up and the dog has peed or pooped inside again, despite that we take them out every morning, afternoon and night before we go to bed ourselves.

Buddy, our dog is my teacher in forgiveness.

Do you need to wait to feel you are confident enough and ready to the things you’re afraid or anxious about doing?

What stops us from going beyond our comfort zone?

Is it our social anxiety; trauma; both or something else?

I spend a great deal of time thinking and imagining and of course writing and contemplating or meditating about life but the one thing I’ve cut back on is being overly active and stepping back from trying to life for myself and others and just live it as I am in the moment without too much judgement about what I ought to be.

Anxiety and in particular social anxiety is seeing ourselves through a distorted mirror and believing that is a true image of who or what we are. That mirror for many is the media and perhaps nowadays social media more than any other media.

I don’t spend much time on social media, rarely read a newspaper, don’t have a television or follow the news, although I do subscribe to a number of websites and occasionally read their newsletters. However most of the time I check my emails in the afternoon and respond to the personal or urgent ones and let most of the other go by the way side.

I avoid the media ing general because I find it’s either too gossipy or negative and it doesn’t align with my values. I value knowledge that improves our self-worth and anyone who helps me overcome my own fears and anxieties about living with uncertainty.

Having freed myself from blame and resentment, with Tara I am now moving on to rising above social anxiety, having started another short course on insight timer with Ellen Hendriksen.

I began with a quote from Maya Angelou, as Ellen did because I know this for myself. I have often been overwhelmed by anxiety rather than the initial fear to face someone or something. Not because I’m uncertain of the outcome but because I anticipate that this is going to take a lot of energy and I’d rather spend it elsewhere. However this means that nothing changes unless I’m willing to actively face it and be the change. This takes courage and commitment in the face of one’s own anxiety and general apathy.

I’m not a social activist by choice but by necessity. I’m much happier creating in the company of a few intimate friends or people I have more in common with than being a voice and sharing the vision of myself and many others, as a socio-ecological responsible human being working in a community for community. In fact, I would say there are many people who are better suited to the activist role than I. However, it isn’t always those who are in the public gaze that serve the community or who understand and empathise with the people they represent. However, they are willing to step out from the chorus or crowd, share their thoughts and give voice to their inner vision, and perhaps learn in the process others thoughts, which is what I believe I am doing in a way.

I recently attended a meeting with other members of CRAOL from community radio stations all around Ireland and was pleasantly surprised by the level of participation, my own included. I spoke up about what I felt was needed if we are to be the voice that represents communities and community development in Ireland and elsewhere, not just for ourselves as a media platform but other sources of knowledge and entertainment, such as artists and arts organisations.

There is a lot we can learn from each other and a lot we can do together to lobby the powers that be and remind our politicians and community organisations that they represent community at large and not the vested interests of a few. Those that don’t listen to community radio may feel we don’t listen to them or represent them. So it is up to us to reach out to them and make them aware we need to hear their opinions and to involve them in decisions and most of all let them know that they play a role in the flourishing of our community and society as a whole: We’re in an interdependent relationship with an equal responsibility as members or participants of the state we’re co-creating.